


the twilight zone

by sungshinelog



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Adopted Children, Cute Kids, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Kim Hongjoong-centric, M/M, Married Couple, Parenthood, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, SeongJoong are parents, This is weird, think twilight zone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25781200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungshinelog/pseuds/sungshinelog
Summary: “What are you talking about?” He shook his head, exasperated. “No, actually forget it.” He stepped closer. “Tell me honestly, do you remember marrying me?”“No, because it never happened.”(Hongjoong wakes up married to Seonghwa and that's when shit hits the fan)
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 16
Kudos: 242





	the twilight zone

**Author's Note:**

> hello all! I have been working on this for MONTHS! I didn't think I'd ever conceptualize all that I wanted for this fic, but I think I did what I could and I'm honestly very happy with the result.
> 
> some things to notes as you read:  
> \- I wrote this as if it were in a parallel universe which is why Hongjoong often refers to the reality as a different timeline. mayhaps the ateez writing contest had me minorly inspired to truly finish this lol.  
> -as things progress, it's good to be aware that there are time skips, I just never really mention them as they should be implied, but the timeline kind of sucks, so I'm sorry if this all seems like just one big snippet of stories pushed together lol.
> 
> I do hope, dear reader, that you enjoy this as I had fun writing it :)

Hongjoong had been sure he’d fallen asleep alone last night, but morning found him with a body pressed behind him. He sighed, rolling over into the warmth. It wasn’t uncommon for one of the younger members to come cuddle him. They were all cuddle monsters. He figured it was just San. The younger boy was always hopping into someone’s bed. 

Except, when he opened his eyes, he saw raven black hair. Seonghwa. That was fine too, he supposed. It’s not often they indulged in skinship, so it was a bit surprising, but he allowed it nonetheless. 

The more he stared, the more he came to realize that something about Seonghwa seemed... different. The lines around his dimple were more prominent. He almost seemed older somehow, shallow breaths soon turning into full ones as he blinked his eyes open. He smiled at Hongjoong. Hongjoong smiled back. “Good morning, baby.” Hongjoong blinked..

“Huh?”

“I said good morning,” he leaned in, smiling. “Still a little sleepy, are we?.” His lips were so close now, noses brushing and Hongjoong felt his own breathing stop.

“Woah, slow down there. What’s happening right now?” Seonghwa raised a brow in confusion.

“Well I was going to kiss you.” Hongjoong gawked. “But you’re ruining the mood.” He puckered his lips, making grabby hands at the younger. “Come give your husband a kiss.”

“Husband?” Hongjoong shrieked as he sat up.

“Yes, husband. Twenty-seven, and already forgetting me.” He sighed, but his tone was playful.

“Twenty-seven?” Surely, that couldn't be true. He wasn’t twenty-seven. He wasn’t married. Seonghwa looked more concerned now, placing the back of his hand against Hongjoong’s forehead.

“You’re scaring me.” Hongjoong wrenched himself away.

“No, you’re scaring me.” Hongjoong stepped off the bed. “Stop playing with me. Is this a prank?” He glanced around, half expecting to see some of his members hidden around. Mingi probably put the older up to this. “You guys got me!” He shouted, but no noise followed. “I said-”

“Hongjoong, what’s gotten into you?” Seonghwa came up behind him, trying to place his hand on his shoulder only to have Hongjoong shy away.

“I get it, okay? You guys are just pranking me. The jig is up.” Seonghwa had these eyes, lost yet searching, trying to understand the younger.

“I don’t- what prank? Hongjoong, seriously, are you okay?”

“I will be once you admit that this was just your way of getting back at me after I wrote all over your face with lipstick.” Hongjoong was starting to hate the way Seonghwa was looking at him. Like he was crazy.

“What are you talking about?” He shook his head, exasperated. “No, actually forget it.” He stepped closer. “Tell me honestly, do you remember marrying me?” 

“No, because it never happened.”

\---

It took a lot of convincing on Seonghwa’s part to get Hongjoong to calm down enough to take him to the hospital. Hongjoong was grumbling the whole way, feeling so out of himself. He noticed as he was putting on his shoes that the bedroom he was in wasn’t the one at the dorm. When they’d left, he turned to stare at the house that wasn’t his own and it led to more questions. Why was he there? Was he really married to Seonghwa? Where were the others?

At the hospital, they ran a few tests, the couple waiting for the results in one of the examination rooms. Seonghwa had been texting someone nonstop since they left, even doing so as they waited. Hongjoong glared. “Are we really married?” Seonghwa met the younger’s eyes before sighing.

“For the hundredth time, yes.”

“But when? How?”

“It’s been years now.” Seonghwa sounded far away. “You’re the one that proposed.” He’d mumbled. Hongjoong still caught it.

“Me?” Having realized he wasn’t all that subtle, Seonghwa leaned forward. He raised his hand, a pretty ring adorning his finger, one that Hongjoong really liked against the other’s slightly tanned skin. He checked his own finger and sure enough, he was wearing the matching one. “I- when- I-” The doctor walked in, their conversation cut short.

“Hello, Mr. Kim.” He greeted, reading over the charts he had in his hands. “After checking the results, we can’t say we found anything that could have caused this amnesia. Everything seems to be in perfect order.”

“Then why can’t he seem to remember me?” Hongjoong wanted to remind him that he in fact did remember him. It was the marrying part that was new. The doctor sighed.

“This could very well be a mental issue. Perhaps some great stress has caused him to recede, going back to a time that was easier for him. Has there been anything in his life to have caused him such stress?” Hongjoong could argue that now being in a famous boy group did put some pressure on him, but Seonghwa was already shaking his head.

“Not that I can think of.” He seemed defeated, leaning into his palms. The doctor stared at the couple in sorrow and Hongjoong felt regret. For something he really had no control over. The doctor asked Hongjoong a few more questions, but otherwise left them with no solution. They walked out, Seonghwa’s hand in his. Hongjoong didn’t pull away, the gesture comforting.

“I’m sorry.” He eventually said, and Seonghwa dropped their clasped hands. He immediately missed the warmth.

“Don’t be. I should have been there for you.” Seonghwa was blaming himself and Hongjoong hated it. He pulled him into a hug.

“None of that, this isn’t your fault.” He could feel Seonghwa shaking, tears staining his shirt. “I’m the dummy.” Seognhwa chuckled, wet laugh a reassurance for the younger.

“Seonghwa, Hongjoong.” The couple turned and Hongjoong felt relieved to see some of the others.

“Yunho! Oh my God, and Mingi. Where have you guys been?” Puzzled by his question, they looked to Seonghwa who must have clued them in behind his back because they started nodding.

“We’ve been home.” Yunho said slowly, like Hongjoong was losing his hearing and not his mind. “With Mira and Seyoon.” The names were unfamiliar.

“With who?”

“Your daught-”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Seonghwa intervened, shooting the two a quick panicked look before taking Hongjoong’s hand again. “Will you guys be okay with them for another day?” Mingi nodded, hooking his chin over Yunho’s shoulder.

“It’s taken care of! Jongho loves them, they’re in good hands right now.” Seonghwa seemed more at ease, nodding as he pulled Hongjoong.

“Great, well I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he left with an even more baffled Hongjoong in tow.

\---

The house was too quiet when they returned, Hongjoong realizing that it really was just him and Seonghwa in the house. Still, there were toys strewn across the living room, dolls and stuffed animals alike. He tilted his head at them, Seonghwa cursing as he went to lead him to the kitchen. “Ignore that, we have to talk about some things before I explain the mess.” He took Hongjoong’s coat for him, the method seamless. Like he’d been doing it for years. Maybe they were married.

Hongjoong sat at the table as Seonghwa bustled about in the kitchen with practiced ease. It was mesmerizing to watch. A few times Hongjoong felt his heartbeat a little faster, something akin to fond settling in his bones. He coughed the feeling away. “Do you need water?” Even without a reply, he set a cup down which Hongjoong was grateful for. He took a sip, eyes never leaving Seonghwa as he brought over two plates of food. “Let’s eat, you haven’t had breakfast.” Hongjoong glanced down at the curry, the smell heavenly. He took a bite, humming at the taste.

“This is phenomenal.” He said through a mouthful. Seonghwa laughed at him.

“Babe, it’s just curry.” The pet name made Hongjoong stop. Seonghwa frowned. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t- It makes you uncomfortable.” The pure sorrow in his voice made Hongjoong sadden. 

“Not exactly...” He tried to reason, but he knew it wasn’t true. He felt too weird about it. About the life he was supposed to be living when all he’d known was the idol life. “I’m sorry that I’m not your Hongjoong.” He spoke like he’d jumped into another dimension, the Seonghwa in front him a mirage from a different world. 

“It’s okay, really.” Hongjoong could see the way it pained the older to say. He hated disappointing him, even if it was for reasons out of his control. “Let me ask you, what is it you remember before you woke up today?” Hongjoong told him a tale of stardom, eight boys becoming one team. They could sing and dance and they were making music, it had been their lifelong dream. They were just starting out. They’d barely gotten a chance to debut when Hongjoong felt the overwhelming stress. Life was harder in the limelight, his image growing tenfold over the course of a month. Everyone seemed to know things about him, about his life and he told himself it was the price of fame.

Seonghwa listened intently, eyes starry as Hongjoong recounted their memories. It was weird to be telling Seonghwa these things, like he wasn’t there, like he wasn’t a part of it. He remembered Seonghwa being his rock, the only solid thing he could depend on with the ever growing pressure. He told Seonghwa as much and the older just chuckled gently, pushing away the last remnants of food. “You did always like to sing.” He told him once he’d finished, looking all too far away despite sitting in front of him.

“I’m guessing you remember something different.” Seonghwa nodded. His story was as cliche as love stories come. Boy meets boy. Boy falls for boy. A kiss, happily ever after. “I’m sorry I don’t remember it.” Hongjoong said, noticing the sadness in the older’s eyes.

“It’s okay.” Hongjoong knew it wasn’t okay. His life had been turned upside down. The person he loved the most forgetting their love story was hurting him. But Seonghwa still smiled, even if small, and stood up to clear the plates. “I have some work I need to do, will you be okay on your own for a while?” Hongjoong wasn’t a child, but he understood Seonghwa’s worries.

“I’ll be fine.”

Fine, yes, but what Senghwa should have been worried about was the endless snooping Hongjoong had planned the minute he locked himself away in his home office. Hongjoong had counted to ten before he darted into the living room, taking in the messy state with interest. The toys… were they children toys? There was definitely something Seonghwa hadn’t told him and the picture on the coffee table was about to do it for him. Hongjoong picked it up with care, taking a long moment to realize what he was staring at. When he did, he gasped. 

He saw himself, a few years younger (older? It was still confusing) and Seonghwa with two adorable little girls. They were holding papers… adoption papers? As in,  _ their _ adoption papers? Like, Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s? Were they parents? He fell onto the couch. 

As if finding out he was married wasn’t enough, now he was a  _ parent?!  _ True he’d talked about it the past, heck he even admitted to Seonghwa he so desperately wanted kids, but that was for years to come! Not now...

He had to remember he was older though, not twenty, not just starting his career. It was hard to wrap his head around it, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror by the hall. He could see the lines on his face, more sunken in than before. His hair was longer than he remembered, swept away from his face and dyed silver, a stark contrast from the brownish blonde he remembered sporting. He ran a hand through it, wondering when he’d gotten it done and if Seonghwa had any input on the color. He shook out the thought, mind wandering to Seonghwa. His hair was still raven, dark and brooding as it was when he first met him. Or what he remembered at least. He still smiled the same, silly and awkward, the photos decorating the walls proving as much. He seemed so happy in those moments, the cameras capturing the most blinding smile. Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile too. Even without the context, he could tell. Seonghwa was happy.

It was hours later that Seognhwa appeared, Hongjoong purchased on the couch with the television on. He surfed through channels mindlessly until settling on some variety show that kept him decently entertained until he heard the older approaching. “It’s rather late. Did you want to eat or sleep?” Hongjoong hadn’t noticed the sun setting, far too spaced out from what he learned today.

“I could use some sleep.” Maybe sleep was what he needed. Maybe he’d wake up tomorrow and things would go back to normal. “I just need a pillow.” Seonghwa scrunched his nose, forgetting for a moment the situation. When it dawned on him, he sighed.

“You should sleep on a bed. Your back is bad as it is. I’ll sleep in the guestroom.” Hongjoong tried to decline, but Seonghwa was already tugging him along, dropping him off on the bed the younger had woken up in that morning. “Let me just grab some things.” He moved swiftly, gathering clothes and a pillow before bidding the younger goodnight. “We’ll talk again in the morning.” The door shut behind him with a click. 

Hongjoong sat for a little while longer, taking in the room. It felt a lot like a combination of the two, a familiarity Hongjoong could recognize mixed with something so Seonghwa. It sort of eased him, that the room didn’t feel like something new. It almost felt like…  _ home _ .

Eventually, he had to get ready for bed, tentatively opening the closet and skimming over the clothes. He spied a soft sweater, deciding to tug it on as well as a pair of sweats (that turned out to be too big and he could only assume they were Seonghwa’s, yet he didn’t dare change them). He brushed his teeth and washed his face, a semblance of normalcy to his otherwise strange day. When he climbed into bed, he shut his eyes with intent. Tomorrow, things will be back to normal. Tomorrow, he would be back in the dorms, an annoying Wooyoung throwing himself over him to wake him up. Tomorrow, he’d be practicing for the upcoming showcase, forgetting all of this ever happened.

\---

Tomorrow only brought Hongjoong back to the weird parallel universe he’d been thrown into. He sighed, slipping out of the bed to find Seonghwa. He had to admit, he kind of hated waking up alone. He heard noise from the living room and decided he’d check there first. A startling sight awaited him.

The young girls from the picture he’d been looking at yesterday were playing with the array of toys on the floor, both taking one look at him before crowding him. “Papa!” They yelled excitedly. Hongjoong faltered, taking two steps back with everyone the girls took forward. Seonghwa must have heard the commotion, running in quickly to stop the girls from moving.

“Girls, girls. Let Papa rest, yeah? He’s sick, remember.” The older one frowned, glancing over at Hongjoong.

“He doeshn’t look sick.” She whined, the lisp endearing to Hongjoong.

“It’s a different kind of sick.” Seonghwa emphasized, tugging the girls back to their original spot. “Mira, why don’t you show Seyoon how to count the blocks. Like I showed you remember.” Mira nodded excitedly, picking up blocks with her chubby hands to give to Seyoon.

  
  


“One, two, three…” Now distracted, Seonghwa came over to him, redirecting Hongjoong to the kitchen.

“This is probably so sudden.” He started to say, dumping perfectly cooked eggs onto plates. “Mingi dropped them off earlier and I should have let you know sooner.” Hongjoong could see the way he was rushing through the plating, wondering if he had places to be. The younger felt like a burden, Seonghwa having to pause his life to watch after him.

“It’s okay.” They ate alone, Seonghwa telling him that Yunho had taken the girls for breakfast already. “Do Yunho and Mingi live together?” Of the seven other people he’d come to know through ATEEZ, Yunho and Mingi were the only ones he knew existed in this world. “What about Jongho?” He remembered his name being mentioned the last time they were together.

“They do. Jongho is their son.” Hongjoong almost coughed out his lung. Seonghwa worriedly patted his back as Hongjoong drank water.

“Their son?” Wow things were even weirder than he could have imagined.

“He was adopted. Like Mira and Seyoon.” Seonghwa’s eyes were cast down, but the younger could tell it was still hurting him to have to be explaining these things. Maybe he’d hoped yesterday was a bad dream too.

“How old is he?” 

“Fourteen.” At least he wasn’t that young. Still.

“How old are Mira and Seyoon?” The mention of their daughters had the older smiling.

“Mira just turned seven. Seyoon will be four next month.” Hongjoong nodded, deciding it’d be a good idea to start storing away this information. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be there. 

“They’re adorable.” Seonghwa smiled even brighter.

“They are.” He told Hongjoong more about them. Mira was an outgoing little thing.  _ Just like you, _ the flicker of a smile gracing his lips. She's bubbly and bright and all the kids in her grade love her. "Even her teacher says she has a lot of potential." Seyoon was still adapting, having only lived with them for about a year. "She doesn't cry like she used to. It's only a matter of time before it stops all together." He went on to tell stories, tidbits of life from memories Hongjoong doesn't remember. But by the way Seonghwa talked, he knew he had been there.

Seonghwa spared a glance at the clock, just now noticing the time. He stood up abruptly, only to hesitate. "I have a meeting I have to attend. " He looked torn. " I didn't want to trouble you with the girls so soon, but-"

"Don't sweat it. I've got this." The look Seonghwa gave him told him he was still unsure. "Trust me, we'll be fine." The meeting must have been really important if the older agreed, with less reluctance. He told Hongjoong he'd only be an hour. Once the door shut behind him, he was left in silence. Or as silent as it could be with two little girls giggling in the next room. He treaded lightly, peeking around to see the girls in the same spot they’d left them earlier. Mira was babbling with dolls in her hand as Seyoon clapped excitedly. 

Warmth seemed to fill his heart at the sight. Even with the faded memories, a part of him remembered the feeling of loving them so deeply it hurt. It scared him. He neared the pair, wanting to see what would happen. Mira noticed him first. “Papa? Is you still sick?”

“Sort of.” He was unsure of his next words. He was talking to a seven year old, after all. “Papa just forgot some things.” She nodded, smiling the way Seonghwa had described. It felt blinding, even to Hongjoong, and he wanted to see it forever. “Maybe you can help me remember?” She seemed excited at the prospect, propelling forward to crawl into Hongjoong’s lap.

“Mira help! Mira love to help!” She wasn’t very heavy, but Hongjong felt weighted down, the sudden realization that this was  _ his _ daughter. He laughed to ease his nerves, gently placing his hands on her tiny waist.  _ It was so tiny! _ Trying not to get distracted, he racked his brain for something to ask. 

“What does Seong-Dadda do for work?” Simple. The little girl thought about it, probably trying to remember how Seonghwa explained it to her. 

“He goesh to office everyday. He wear shuit and Papa loves his shuit.” She squealed and Hongjoong wanted to die. Was he that embarrassing that he outright _ told  _ Seonghwa he liked his suit in front of children?! Good God. “Papa, are you fighting with Dadda?” Her words brought him back, a frown adorning his lips.

“Of course not, why do you ask?”

“Dadda wash not in your room when we got home. Dadda look shad. Did Papa make Dadda shad again?”  _ Again?  _ He wondered what she was referring to. Had Hongjoong made Soenghwa upset before? Enough for their daughter to notice?

“No darling, things are… difficult right now.” He was running his hand through her hair out of instinct, the girl leaning more into his touch. She yawned and Hongjoong copied her, feeling sleepy just looking at her. “Are you tired? Let’s take a nap.” He leaned against the sofa, Mira still in his arms, cradled further for comfort. Seyoon whined, coming closer to join the pair in their nap time. She leaned her little head against Hongjoong’s side and all he could do was giggle at her efforts to be included. 

“Hongjoong?” The first thing the younger felt was a shooting pain up his spine. He jerked up, groaning, feeling more out of it than when he woke up in the same bed as Seonghwa. He stared up, realizing it was Seonghwa who’d woken him. There were no longer two little girls with him, and for a brief moment, he wondered if it was all a fevered dream. Except, he was still leaning against the couch. 

He heard the faint sound of scurrying feet and realized nothing had changed. Well, maybe his spinal cord had gotten worse. “You really shouldn’t sleep sitting up, it’s bad for your back.” Seonghwa reprimanded, helping the younger onto his feet.

“It was never my intention to fall asleep.” Just as the words left his mouth, he tripped over air, colliding head first into Seonghwa’s chest. Seonghwa hardly moved, something stirring Hongjoong’s chest at the fact. He gulped. “Sorry.” Seonghwa seemed unbothered, setting the man on his feet before nodding to the kitchen. 

“I made dinner, the girls are waiting.” Hongjong nodded, wondering how long he’d been out for. Time seemed nonexistent since he’d landed here and he wasn’t sure how he felt about said matter. Seonghwa had made another delectable dish, one of the few things that wasn’t all that bad in this world. He’d often missed his mother’s home cooked meals being so far away from home. 

Dinner, for the most part, consisted of Mira’s recounting of her time with Mingi and Yunho. She told them how Jongho was doing and how she’d learned a lot from him in their time together. “Yeah, what’d Jongho teach my sweet little girl?”

“He told me why daddies kish.” Hongjoong sputtered, Seonghwa feigning a cool facade as he sipped his water.

“Oh yeah? What exactly did he say?” Seonghwa looked like he was contemplating murder. For the mere fact that his daughter’s innocence could have been tainted. Hongjoong waited with bated breath.

“Becaush of _ love _ .” She singsonged and Seonghwa visibly relaxed. 

“He isn’t wrong.” Seonghwa affirmed, taking another bite with a far less troubled heart. 

“But Dadda hasn’t kished Papa today?” And  _ oh.  _ Hongjoong looked to Seonghwa for answers. The older titled his head, contemplating. 

“Dadda was busy.” He eventually offered, the girl frowning.

“But he no busy right now.” Which,  _ true. _ But like, _ also _ , this was crossing into weird territory. Seonghwa glanced between Mira and Hongjoong, clearly at odds.

“Papa’s sick, remember?” Hongjoong interjected, attempting some form of resolve. “He doesn’t want Dadda to catch his sickness.” The girl still pouted, but nodded in understanding. Hongjoong could breathe again.

Just like last night, Seonghwa rummaged through the closet before making his way to the guest room. Hongjoong remembered Mira’s words earlier and felt guilt, once again, cornering him. It was already enough that she was upset about it earlier, what would she think if she came barreling in only to see Hongjoong alone? Determined not to see her sad, Hongjoong stepped out, forgetting he had no idea where the guest room was. Luckily for him, Seonghwa had chosen that moment to emerge from the room. He startled at Hongjoong just standing in the hallway. “Is everything alright?”

“Sleep with me.”  _ Okay _ , not the way he meant to phrase that. Seonghwa raised a brow. “I mean- sleep in the same room- we should sleep in the same room.” Seonghwa was still confused and Hongjoong stepped closer, to hush out his next words. “Mira thinks we’re fighting, I- don’t want to upset her anymore than she already seems to be.” Seonghwa nodded, having noticed it too.

“Honestly, I was thinking of asking you myself.”

“So we're on the same page?.”

“I guess so.” They stayed in the hall for a minute longer, an awkward air making itself known. Hongjoong thought of something.

“You can take the bed!” They said in tandem, Seonghwa already shaking his head.

“No, your back can’t handle the floor. Don’t forget I already caught you sleeping by the couch earlier.” Hongjoong cursed under his breath. Damn, Seonghwa had a point. As much as he wanted to be a gentleman in this situation, he knew he’d have trouble getting up in the morning if the earlier fiasco taught him anything.

“We can share the bed.” Hongjoong mumbled, knowing full well it wouldn’t be the first time. Not in this timeline or the last. They’d shared a bed on multiple occasions. Even in Hongjoong’s dimension. He assumed the same goes for this one, for very different reasons.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Nonsense, you could never.” Which to some degree was true. Though it was still awkward between them, Seonghwa never made him feel  _ not _ comfortable. Seonghwa bit his lip, Hongjoong’s eyes drawn to the action. Had Seonghwa’s lips always been so plump?  _ Oh God, where did that thought come from? _

“Alright, if you insist.” Seonghwa waited for Hongjoong to move first, following behind him as they re-entered their room. Hongjoong sat on the bed, standing up again when he realized he hadn’t washed his face nor brushed his teeth.

“I’ll be a minute. Y-you can get comfortable.” It felt odd to say, knowing well that this had been Seonghwa’s room too. The older man nodded, staring after Hongjoong as he disappeared into the bathroom. Behind the closed door, Hongjoong sighed. Why was this so weird? He had to remember this was just Seonghwa. _ Who you’re also married to _ , his brian dumbly added for him. It was like he had two different voices in his head. One that was reminiscent of who he felt he was and another that reminded him who he was supposed to be. It was draining to have them talking over each other.

He splashed his face, focused on the voice that sounded the most like his own, like the person he remembered despite being in an older body. His breathing returned to normal and he stepped out, finding Seonghwa already asleep. He chuckled, having been so nervous for nothing. He tiptoed over, standing at the edge to stare down at Seonghwa. He was snoring softly, hair mussed and his clothed body uncovered.  _ He must be tired _ . Hongjoong couldn’t blame him. He was only adding to it, overworking Seonghwa because of his supposed memory loss. He wished desperately that the Hongjoong of this world would come back, if only to appease the poor man. Seonghwa deserved better.

Eventually, Hongjoong slipped in beside him, far too tired to care that their shoulders were touching. It was a welcomed skinship, body sagging further into the mattress until he was asleep once more. 

The start of the week went a lot differently than the weekend, Hongjoong was quick to find out.

Seonghwa was busy in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for the girls while Mira dressed half haphazardly in a skirt  _ and  _ jean combo. “Mira, please choose one. We’ll be late if you don’t.” Mira made it very clear she wanted both, stomping her little feet in a tantrum that was yet to blow over. Hongjoong could see how exasperated the older man was and he decided he should try and help. He was only uselessly hanging around after all.

“Mira, do you like princesses?” She gave Hongjoong a weird look, as if to say  _ duh _ . “What do princesses wear?”

“Dresses!” She ran off, presumably to put on a dress and Seonghwa thanked him in earnest.

“I swear she’s so much like you it’s ridiculous.” Hongjoong knew he was troublesome, and it seemed even that part of him remained the same. “Yunho will be here in half an hour to help you with Seyoon. I would have stayed, but the firm needs all hands on deck with this offer.” He’d already packed his and Mira’s lunch, swiftly picking up his briefcase before standing in front of Hongjoong. He stopped himself from saying whatever was on the tip of his tongue, holding the bridge of his nose instead. “I- um, should be back by five. I’ll pick up Mira on my way back.” Hongjoong nodded, mimicking a salute as Seonghwa rattled off other things he should be aware of in his absence. 

“Mira! Baby, we need to go now!” He smiled at Hongjoong, the younger doing the same. Hongjoong got lost in the softness of it, wondering why it looked like Seonghwa was in awe. It couldn’t be for Hongjoong,  _ could it? _ He also, belatedly, realized they were at lot closer than they were before. Like a breath away from touching lips.

“Dadda, I’m here.” They jumped apart, well Hongjoong did, bending down to acknowledge Mira.

“Have fun at school.” He pet her hair, the little girl going for a hug.

“Shee you later, Papa.” Seonghwa had composed himself, guiding the little girl with him out the door.

“I’ll see you for dinner.” Hongjoong nodded tensely, watching the pair go out before he heard the roar of an engine.  _ What almost happened? _

Yunho arrived promptly at the time Seonghwa said he would, a tupperware in his hands. “Figured you didn’t have anything prepared for lunch.” Hongjoong was thankful, not only for the food, but for the time he was taking out of his schedule to be there. He seemed to be troubling more people than he realized.

“How is everything?” Yunho asked after they’d gotten Seyoon down for her nap. She was more hyper than Seonghwa gave her credit for, the pair doing some major damage control while wearing long beaded necklaces and crowns. Seyoon liked tea parties.

“It’s… going.” He adjusted the crown, not taking it off in fear that Seyoon would sit back up only to demand another party. “I’m sorry for troubling you today.”

“Don’t worry about it, that’s what friends are for.” He was still drinking out of the tiny teacups and Hongjong couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You seem to be a natural.” He gestured to the sleeping girl, Yunho being half the reason she finally settled.

“Comes with being a parent.”

“I’d imagine.” Hongjoong had no idea how long Yunho had been a father. Jongho was fourteen. Did they adopt him really young? 

“I know you don’t remember, but you weren’t so bad yourself.” Hongjoong scoffed, but Yunho continued. “No, seriously, you were like the kid whisperer, before…” He didn’t have to say it. Hongjoong knew.

“How long have we known each other?” He chose to ask.

“Almost ten years.” Yunho answered easily.

“Ten years?” In his universe, he’d only known Yunho for two. “We must have been through a lot.” Yunho hummed, suddenly standing and taking the small dishes they’d been using to the kitchen. Hongjoong followed after him.

“We’ve been through so much. Not just you and me, but Seonghwa and Mingi as well. You and Seonghwa…” He seemed to hesitate, like whatever he was going to say wasn’t his story to tell. “Let’s just say, it took a lot for you two to get where you are today.” He dumped the dirty dishes in the sink. “I know it’s not your fault you can't remember, but it’s hurting Seonghwa more than he lets on.” Hongjoong’s shoulders fell.

“I know and I’m sorry. I feel bad that I don’t remember.” Even if there was nothing to remember. This wasn’t his timeline. Yunho hummed, washing up while Hongjoong stood to the side. “I was hoping you could answer some questions I have.” Yunho glanced over, letting Hongjoong know to continue. “Do I have a job?” The words leaving his mouth felt stupid, but he was genuinely curious of his life here. Seonghwa hadn’t really let him know much about himself, only about their life together. 

“You do.” Yunho dried his hands, turning to face the older. “You work in the same company as Mingi, doing music production.”  _ So he was still doing the music thing. _ “You and Mingi were actually in the middle of a project before this happened.” Hongjoong perked up.

“A project?”

“Yeah, I don’t know enough about it. Mingi doesn’t always talk about what you two get up to in the studio, but I know this was a big deal for him. For the both of you.”  _ Has there been anything in his life to have caused him such stress?  _ The doctor’s words rang in his ears. Could this project have been the cause of his amnesia? 

“Maybe I could talk to Mingi?” He told Yunho. “It could spark something in my memory.” He knew it wouldn’t, but he needed more answers, ones he wasn’t sure Yunho could give. Yunho nodded after a moment, giving the older a smile.

“Sure, I’ll tell him to swing by.” His eyes lit up. “We can have a big dinner! It’s been a while since we’ve had one.” He seemed excited, bouncing over to their fridge with intent. “I’m sure Seonghwa bought pork belly…” He rummaged through the contents while Hongjoong sat down.

Hours later, Yunho had laid out a feast. Hongjoong had stayed dutiful as a babysitter, running to Seyoon the second she’d cried out. He had her keep them company as Yunho cooked, overwhelmed by the sheer domesticity of it all. Yunho kept excitedly telling Hongjoong about Jongho and how well he’s been doing in basketball lately. Hongjoong knew he hadn’t met the Jongho of this universe, yet, but he was excited for it. To see the kind face of a boy he’d once known. “He really has grown up since the last time you saw him. He’s almost at our shoulders.” Hongjoong smiled gently. He didn’t correct the younger about his memory. “I’m sure Seonghwa is going to pester him. He’s been more tentative to him these days. Probably because you two have been raving about wanting a boy.”  _ Another kid? _ Seonghwa wanted a big family, it seemed.

“I’m sorry.” Yunho suddenly cut in, turning off the stove with a sigh. “I got carried away.”

“Don’t be. Thanks for acting like nothing’s changed.”  _ Thanks for being the Yunho I’ve always known and loved. _ Yunho scrambled for his phone when it went off, rattling to Mingi that dinner was almost finished. After their call, he had Hongjoong help set the table. “He’ll be here in a few minutes. I’m sure Seonghwa isn’t far behind him.” 

True to his word, Mingi came barreling in with a shorter boy, who was whining about being attacked. When they caught their bearings, Hongjoong was faced with Jongho and Mingi, tears almost threatening to spill. Jongho was small, smaller than when Hongjoong had first met him. Or who he remembered. His Jongho was taunt, with broader muscles and cold eyes. The boy who stood before him here had a warm smile, chubby cheeks the same as he hugged Hongjoong. “Uncle Joong!” He welcomed and Hongjoong hugged him back. Why was he being so emotional? Mingi must have noticed, separating them to lead Jongho toward the hall.

“Go wash up, Jongie. You know how Uncle Hwa is.” Jongho nodded, disappearing to the bathroom while Hongjoong lingered in the spot he’d been left in. It wasn’t until he heard an awfully familiar voice that he glanced up, Seonghwa singing a nursery rhyme as he walked through the door with Mira. The waterworks came back full force. Seonghwa immediately picked up on it, putting their daughter down and coming over to Hongjoong.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He wiped gently at the younger’s face and Hongjoong felt warmth seep under his skin. Seonghwa’s touch never had that effect on him before. He let a tear fall. “I’m going to talk to Hongjoong in private. Are you guys okay out here?” Yunho affirmed they were and Hongjoong was pulled into their room. “Are you going to tell me why you’re crying?” 

Hongjoong felt more than a little stupid to have lost his cool so suddenly. There was just something so… _ fond _ about Seonghwa coming home with their daughter-  _ their daughter _ \- singing and smiling and Jongho was such a cherub and Mingi was  _ a father _ \- “I just got a little overwhelmed with everything.” He said, breath shaky, He wiped at his eyes. “I guess I just realized where I am.” No longer bright eyed with the dreams of singing for thousands. But here, with Seonghwa and their children and their friends-  _ everything _ was just so different. “I’m sorry, again. For not being who you want.”  _ For not being your Hongjoong. _ Seonghwa shook his head, gently bringing Hongjoong closer. The younger didn’t fight him, let himself crumble against his solid chest.

“You’re-” Hongjoong knew what Seonghwa wanted to say, but he hesitated. “I know it’s hard right now. But we’ll get through it.”  _ We always do... _ was on the tip of his tongue. Even here, Seognhwa was the comfort he needed on a hard day. He nodded. Despite everything, he was going to give it his all. He owed Seonghwa that much.

\---

The first week was rocky, Yunho keeping him balanced as he got used to Seyoon. She had mood swings, as most young kids did, and she would often retaliate in a way that hurt Hongjoong. Being unfamiliar as a parent, he wasn’t used to it. Yunho had to be the voice of reason. “She’s young Joongie. She’s scared, just like you are.” She pushed and kicked and Hongjoong had to remember that she didn’t hate him. She was getting used to him, to being a part of their family, as Hongjong himself was doing.

Seonghwa worked all week, Yunho often leaving dinner before he had to get back to his own family. “I feel bad that you have to cook twice as much because of me.” Yunho snorted, plating the hamburger steak he’d cooked that day. 

“Sorry, it’s just- the old you loved to take advantage of my cooking skills.” Hongjoong was a bad hyung. “Don’t worry about it. If it bothers you that much, I can teach you a few things.” And Hongjoong lit up. “Don’t get too excited. I can only do so much for you.” Hongjoong was thankful anyway.

When Seonghwa arrived, he raised a brow at the mess in the kitchen. “It’s not like Yunho to leave all these dishes.” Hongjoong turned around, the stain of something (maybe sauce) on his cheek. 

“That’s because Yunho didn’t cook today.” Seonghwa stared at him. “I did.” He heard bubbling and Hongjoong quickly went back to the pot with a curse. It was more than endearing for Seonghwa, who instinctively moved closer. 

“What’d you make?” 

“Tteokbokki.” He dipped a spoon in, bringing it out to feed a bit to Seonghwa. The older ate it willingly, surprised to find it wasn’t half bad.

“Could use a little more soy sauce, but it’s good.” The smile that Hongjoong gave him was blinding.

“Yeah? Just give me a few more minutes and it’ll be ready.” He pushed Seonghwa back toward the living room and went back to work, adding in the soy sauce as instructed. 

It became a regular thing for Seonghwa to find Hongjoong in the kitchen when he got home and it brought a warmth like no other seeing the younger’s eager face whenever he let Seonghwa try whatever he’d cooked that day. Hongjoong wasn’t that bad at the cooking thing and he took pride in the empty dishes left after every meal. “Are you sure you’re not just trying to fatten Seonghwa up so less people hit on him?” Yunho asked one afternoon, to which Hongjoong scoffed.

“No.” Though his voice was unsure. He’d admit Seonghwa was attractive, and living with him, he sure got a glimpse at  _ all _ of him, but things were still weird and he didn’t think he liked Seonghwa like that. Or so he told himself. “Besides, no matter how much he eats, he doesn’t gain a pound!” Hongjoong grumbled, grabbing at his small tummy. “If anything, I’m the one gaining a few.” Yunho tsked at him, slapping lightly at his hand.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. You’re much too tiny as it is.” Hongjong gawked, slapping Yunho across the chest.

“I am not tiny.” Yunho proceeded to pick him up by the waist. Hongjoong kicked his legs. “Put me down you giant!” He laughed loudly, attracting the attention of the little girl in the other room. When Seyoon saw her Papa in Yunho’s hold, she burst into giggles. 

“I want uppie, too!” She shouted, coming over to Yunho’s legs. Hongjoong was placed back on the ground, Seyoon now in Yunho’s arms. She giggled more, squealing as Yunho bounced her. Hongjoong smiled at them.

“What’s this?” He turned at Seonghwa’s voice, surprised to see him so early in the day. He voiced as much. “The case closed early, so I took the rest of the day off.” His tie was undone, hanging loosely around his neck and Hongjoong had the minor urge to tug him down to his level, maybe kiss him. And  _ oh. _ He’d been having a lot more of these thoughts recently, his face a nice shade of pink everytime. He covered his face in a fake fit of coughing, the two other adults in the room concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Fine!” Yunho was giggling, probably having caught on to Hongjoong’s nerves, while Seonghwa still looked worried. “So, where’s Mira?” A change of topic was very much needed, Seonghwa stalking off to drop off his briefcase.

“She’s got another hour before she’s out of school.” He explained, hanging his coat on the kitchen chair. “We could pick her up together? If you want to.” There was an edge of uncertainty to his voice that Hongjoong disliked. He never liked when Seonghwa seemed unsure. He stepped closer to him, nodding lightly.

“I’d love to.”

“I’ll take that as my cue to leave.” Yunho announced, placing Seyoon in Hongjoong’s arms. “You two have fun.” He sent Hongjoong a wink, his face burning for a second time that day.  _ They were just picking up Mira! _ He willed the blush down, staring back at Seonghwa.

“So, an hour?” 

Most of that hour was spent in the living room, Seyong tugging her fathers into a game of make believe. Hongjoong was given the role of the prince while Seonghwa was the soldier who came to rescue them from the stuffed dragon Seyoong had placed between them. 

"Don't worry I'll save you!" Seonghwa announced loudly, adding sound effects as he "slayed" the dragon. When the stuffed animal tipped over, he came swooping in, pulling Seyoon up in excitement. "I got you, princess!" She squealed, delighted in her father's arms. 

The playful air followed them as Seonghwa drove them to Mira's school. They sang obnoxiously to baby shark and Hongjoong couldn't help the laughter that kept bubbling out. "Maybe we could get some ice cream after we pick up Mira?" Seonghwa suggested, tapping at the wheel. Hongjoong nodded eagerly.

"Yes!" Seonghwa smiled wide and it was all the more reason for Hongjoong to smile too.

The days following were easier, Hongjoong finally getting a handle for Seyoon's temper. He told Yunho that it was okay if he wanted to stop coming around, he probably had better things to do.

"If I'm honest, coming here isn't much different than being back home."

"How so?"

"Well, when you worked, I was the one usually watching over Seyoon."

"Oh." Now, Yunho's care over his daughter made sense. He threw a light punch to the younger's shoulder. "You should have told me."

"Sorry, I just thought things would… have gone back to how they were by now." Yunho's gaze fell and Hongjoong frowned.

"Does it bother you? That I can't remember?"

"No! I just… worry sometimes. Mingi is still on his own with this project. I guess I was selfish in hoping that maybe you'd come back to him soon, so he wasn't so stressed."  _ The project. _ Hongjoong hadn't gotten around to asking Mingi about it when he was over. The breakdown really put a damper on things.

"Well, maybe it's time I go back." Yunho was already shaking his head.

"You don't have to! You're still in recovery." Hongjoong laughed.

"I'm not physically hurt. Besides, going back to work might do my brain some good." Yunho looked skeptical and so did Seonghwa when he told him over dinner that night.

"Are you sure you want to go back?" He was cutting up Mira's chicken for her. "The company said you were free to take as much time as you needed." Hongjoong could understand his worry. Even if things weren't as awkward as before, he knew Seonghwa still fussed over him. It was kind of cute. 

"I'll be fine. Promise." Seonghwa told him if he still felt that way after a few days, he could do as he pleased and when Monday came the following week, Seonghwa was adding another lunch to his morning routine.

"It's not too late, Yunho could still drive over." Hongjoong helped Mira with her school bag, rolling his eyes at Seonghwa's last effort keep him home.

"Stop worrying." He moved closer to Seonghwa, blazing his thumb in the space between his eyebrows. "You worry too much." He whispered, acutely aware of how close they were suddenly standing. Seonghwa appeared calmer, only pouting at Hongjoong.

"I always worry about you." He huffed, letting Hongjoong keep at his weird message against his forehead. It wasn't until Mira shouted she was ready that they parted, an equal pink on their cheeks. "Right, we should go." Hongjoong followed after them.

It was getting easier to be comfortable with Seonghwa. Little touches here and there. Waking up pressed together. Mediocre at best, but Hongjoong was taking it slow. He wasn’t used to… this Seonghwa. The one who wanted to be close to him. To hold him.  _ To kiss him.  _ He felt the blush creeping up again, turning away from Seonghwa to stare out the window. The voice that sounded most like his own sometimes gave way to the voice he knew was his, but from this world. It told him to relax, to let Seonghwa in. But it was hard to do that when he wasn’t very sure about his own feelings. 

Back in his timeline, Seonghwa was…  _ Seonghwa _ . He was his bandmate,  _ his friend! _ He’d never seen him as anything else, really. But here,  _ now _ , he was being swayed by his smile, his lips, his  _ everything _ . The small things he did, like making sure Hongjoong was comfortable when they laid down to sleep, making him lunch, looking at him with so much love… which made sense. Seonghwa was _ in love _ with Hongjoong, the younger reminded himself. He loved him enough to marry him, have kids with him… was Hongjoong really that special? Even when Hongjoong was in ATEEZ, he hadn’t thought he stood out very much. Yunho was tall, Yeosang was handsome, Hongjoong had never felt like he had something defining about who he was. And yet here, Seonghwa still loved him all the same...

The car stopped and Hongjoong glanced up to the building they had stopped at. His eyes widened. “This is where I work?!” Before him was a building he knew. He’d practically lived there, sleeping on the thrifted couch in his small studio. Seonghwa nodded, coming around to open the door for him. Hongjoong blushed.

“Yep, Mingi said he’d be downstairs, but-”

“I’m here!” They turned to an obviously winded Mingi, the man having to take a breath before speaking again. “Sorry, I was on a roll. Didn’t realize the time.” Seonghwa merely rolled his eyes, fond, as he started walking back toward the driver’s side.

“Guess you’re under his care now. Don’t get into  _ too _ much trouble.” He warned. Mingi scoffed, crossing his arms to glare at the older. Seonghwa laughed, disappearing into the car before driving off with one last wave. They watched until he turned the corner, before Mingi was tugging Hongjoong in.

“Seonghwa doesn’t know how to have fun.” Hongjoong chuckled at Mingi’s mumbled words, eyes scanning the immediate area in earnest. It was so weird to be walking these halls as a different Hongjoong. He was used to his other life, showing up at odd hours to pitch ideas to Eden, or to blow off some creative energy. Mingi did often join him then, not much changing there. 

When the elevator opened, Hongjoong was hit by a familiar face (literally). “Sorry!” San told him, patting at his shoulder to assure he was balanced. “Hongjoong?” He asked once Hongjoong was facing him.

“San.” He parroted, waiting for the other to say something. San looked too shocked to say much, Mingi interjecting.

“Hongjoong thought it would be good to come back. Could bring up old times, you know?” Hongjoong was sure Mingi was trying to send some telepathic signal to the other and it took a moment before San was nodding in understanding.

“Oh, yeah. I heard about what happened.” He frowned, the hand that was still on his shoulder squeezing in support. “Hope it’s not messing with you too much.” It was in fact kind of troublesome, especially since he had no idea who San was in this world. He didn’t have to wait long to find out. “Anyway, I really should get going. Eden wanted some help with a new choreography. Can’t have the head teacher be late.” He gave a salute, wandering off toward a different hall. 

“San is a choreographer?” Mingi’s eyes shot up.

“You remembered!?” Hongjoong laughed, a tad too sad.

“Just guessed, actually.” Mingi relaxed.

“Ah, well. Yes, he is. He’s been here for as long as we have, but I don’t know much about him. You talked with him more.” They finally stepped into the elevator, Mingi choosing the fourth floor as the door closed. “I told Eden we’d take it slow today, so don’t worry too much if you feel unproductive. It’s all part of the creative process, right?” His easy smile made Hongjoong smile and they broke into a laugh just as the doors beeped open. The people waiting their turn raised a brow, but otherwise remained stoic as they switched places. Hongjoong couldn’t help but laugh again when the door shut behind them. “I’ve missed this.” Mingi admitted as they walked, Hongjoong sparing him a glance.

“What?”

“It gets pretty boring without you around.” Mingi explained. “I’m so used to bouncing ideas off each other, it was hard to get back into the groove of things while you were…” Hongjoong felt sympathetic, knowing how tough it was to be on your own with your ideas. He’d struggled with it a lot in the past, his old past. “Enough with the sad talk, let’s get down to it.” Mingi threw open a door, a deja vu hitting Hongjoong as he went to sit in the rolling chair. It may be a little more modern, but it felt just the same..

“What do you have so far?” Mingi opened his laptop, clicking away before an oddly familiar medley hit his ears. “Twilight.”

“Okay, you’re guessing is getting a little too good.” Hongjoong shook his head.

“I could never forget it. But why are there no lyrics?” The instrumental was phenomenal, but he’s sure there were lyrics to match.

“We hadn’t gotten that far before you left.” _ Oh _ . Well, it’s perfect, then. Because this was a song from their debut album. He was sure he could remember the lyrics…  _ wait _ , what were the lyrics again?

“Play it again.” He instructed, Mingi starting it over. He asked a second time, then a third, but his mind drew a blank. He couldn’t remember. Frustrated, he stood up, Mingi reaching out with caution.

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it. We don’t need to worry Seonghwa again.” There was that  _ again. _ He blinked over at him.

“Have I hurt Seonghwai in the past? Because of this?” Mingi stuttered, considering his words.

“You have a habit of… giving music your all.” Mingi tried to phrase. “Sometimes, that took away from you being home. With Seonghwa.” That’s not far off from who he is, or who he was. He’d been known to hole himself up in the studio. Seonghwa had once mentioned he’d send himself to an early grave with how hard he was working, but he just wanted their album to be perfect! He wanted them to make it big.

He could see, though, why Seognhwa would be concerned, here and in his world. Here, he had children to care for, a husband to share time with. Despite his responsibilities as a producer, he should make time for them,  _ for his family _ . A sinking feeling settled in his stomach.

“I must have been gone for days.”

“A week.” Mingi clarified and Hongjoong felt even worse. His daughters didn’t deserve that. Seonghwa didn’t deserve that.

“I’m terrible.”

“You’re determined.” Mingi tried to justify. Hongjoog shot him a look. “Anyway, it’s in the past. Let bygones be bygones. Start fresh.” He carefully pushed Hongjoong back into the chair. “Let’s see what we can do today.” Hongjoong wanted to backtrack, go home and apologize to Seonghwa for his behaviour, even if it wasn’t necessarily  _ him _ who had caused such a dilemma. But, if he went back now, there’s no telling when he’d ever be back to his old self.

“Can I borrow a notebook?”

Hongjoong sat with Mingi for hours, brainstorming the concept for the song, and feeling out some lyrics before ultimately crumbling up said lyrics and starting over. Mingi could see his frustration and he quickly pulled him back, getting him on his feet. “Break time!” He got Hongjoong out of the room, announcing to the staff they would be going to lunch. “It’s well deserved.” He led Hongjoong to the dining hall, their options for snacks limited. “Did you want ramen?” The older shook his head, motioning to the bag he had in hand.

“Seonghwa made me lunch.” When Hongjoong opened the neatly organized lunch box, his jaw dropped. “Wow.” Seonghwa had maybe overdone it, the lunch taking a liking to something straight out of pinterest. It was cute, though, Seonghwa even included a little sticky note over the packaged cookies.  _ You’ll do great today.  _ Could Seonghwa get anymore adorable?

“Aw, I wish Yunho gave me cute love notes.”

“Shut up.” Hongjoong mumbled, digging into the rolled omelette. It was delicious.

Mingi tried to steal a bite, Hongjoong very much opposed, smacking his hand away. “Just one bite.” He argued, but Hongjoong shook his head.

“I’m sure Yunho feeds you plenty.” Mingi laughed, slurping down the last of his noodles.

“Oh, he does.”  _ Gross _ .

After they finished, Mingi suggested they blow off some steam before heading back. “How do you suppose we do that?” Mingi could be a villain with the smile he gave Hongjoong. Wicked grin and all, he dragged Hongjoong toward a far room, music already reaching their ears as they went to open the door. “Look who’s back!” He announced, movement cut short as everyone turned to face them. Hongjoong offered a shy wave, meeting two pairs of eyes. Yeosang and Wooyoung. 

“Joong!” Wooyoung was the first to greet, bouncing over to them to give the older man a hug. “How are you? Better I hope.” His hair was windswept, away from his face in a way that made Hongjoong remember how much older they all were. Yeosang came up next to them, shyly offering his own hello. “Is your memory back?” Yeosang jabbed him in the side, apologizing for his prodding.

“No, sadly it’s not.” Wooyoung pouted at him.

“I’m sure it’ll all come back to you.” He encouraged, getting the rest to nod along. “I’m just glad to see you back. It’s not the same without you.”

“So I've been told.” He never realized how much his presence impacted the other. Their constant reminders that things haven’t been the same without him are welcomed, Hongjoong offering a bashful smile. Wooyoung talked his ear off, letting him know what’s new with the company and announcing he was finally promoted.

“I got the gig with BigHit, can you believe it? I can’t believe how much has changed since my  _ so called _ trainee days. I lasted four days at best.” He chuckled, checking his watch with a huff. “I should get going! I still have to finish planning the concept before my meeting tomorrow.” He pulled Yeosang with him, Wooyoung calling out that they should catch up some other time. Following their departure, Mingi asked if he wanted to work on the song for a bit longer.

“Seonghwa won’t be here for at least another hour.” 

“Sure.” Much to Hongjoong’s dismay, they didn’t get much done. They were too busy laughing over some other songs Mingi had tried to demo, all of them awful. “You sound like you were drugged.” Hongjoong laughed harder when Mingi’s voice cracked through the speakers.

“I may have been a little tipsy when we recorded these.” 

“Wait, I was with you?” 

“Yeah, you were also kind of drunk.” He giggled. “Heaven forbid you be sober, you probably would have mauled me when we started beatboxing.” As if on cue, a very hard to understand rap cut through the track. It got another roar of laughter from them. 

“What’s going on in here?” Hongjoong turned to find Seonghwa at the doorway. His face lit up.

“How’d you get in here?” Seonghwa pointed to the sticker on his chest.  _ Hongjoong _ . Written in big black letters like a brand.

“Being your husband has it perks.” Hongjoong tried not to flush, but he’s sure he did a horrible job if Mingi’s obnoxious cackling proved anything. “Are you ready to go?” Hongjoong nodded, grabbing his stuff and throwing a goodbye to Mingi as he walked out with Seonghwa.

The halls were a little more crowded with the bustle of workers also trying to go home and Seognhwa reached for his hand instinctively. Hongjoong let him, the warmth reaching all the way to his ears as they made their way out. “How was your day?” He asked once they were driving home, his hand now cold without Seonghwa’s.

“It was great. I saw Wooyoung and Yeosang.” Seonghwa perked up.

“Oh, how have they been? It’s been a while since I last saw them.” Hongjoong told him about Woyooung’s promotion and the older man smiled. “I knew he had it in him.” Seonghwa’s words were so soft, touching and Hongjoong felt how much he cared for the others. Even if things weren’t exactly as they were back home, it was nice to know they were all still connected somehow. Their lives still intertwined. 

Getting used to working again was difficult, given that Hongjoong was still struggling to figure out the lyrics for Twilight. Mingi told him not to stress, they still had a few weeks before it was due, they could work on other things. Which they did, Hongjoong often forgetting the real intentions of his time there. He wondered a lot about if he figured out the lyrics, would things go back to how they were? Would he wake up back at the dorms, back to his life of fame. He was starting to wonder if maybe he imagined it, if maybe this really was his reality and the Hongjoong he thought he  _ was _ only ceased to exist in the confines of his mind.

He was getting used to waking up next to Seonghwa, softly inching closer and smelling his faded cologne. It was ridiculous how much he’d grown to love it, being close to the older and almost wishing it was always like that. Always him and Seonghwa. He couldn’t deny his feelings, the terrible crush he had on Seonghwa very much apparent not just to him, but to Yunho. “You do realize you’re married to him, right?” He couldn’t exactly explain to him how he'd been dumped into this timeline without any preamble, merely acting as he thought he should. These  _ feelings _ were all very new to him, never having gone past thinking of what could be with people in his past. 

He'd always been so focused on his music, his career. There wasn't time for love.

"Seyoon is turning four next week." Seonghwa commented one weekend, dousing his waffles in syrup before doing the same to Mira's. "I was thinking we could do something. Not too big, maybe a barbeque?" 

Hongjoong loved the idea. He told Mingi, who in turn told Wooyoung and Yeosang, followed by San and then there were eight. Seonghwa went over the menu time and time again, shopping the night before as a last minute check. “I think we have enough pork belly.” Hongjoong laughed as he saw Seonghwa grab another tray of meat from the frozen section.

“Have you seen Mingi eat? We need at least five of these.” Hongjoong managed to talk him out of it, directing them to the birthday cakes they had on display. 

“Which one should we get her?” His attention was drawn to a pretty white cake, decorated with various fruits and berries. “Oh this one looks nice.” Seonghwa came up behind him, lacing his arms around Hongjoong’s stomach.

“Is that really for Seyoong, or are you planning to eat it all?” He whispered in his ear, a chill running through Hongjoong. Seonghwa seemed to forget their boundaries, and maybe Hongjoong didn’t mind, letting himself get more comfortable in his arms.

“She’ll have two bites at best.” Seonghwa chuckled, the sound light next to his ear.

“It’s  _ her _ birthday.”

“She’s my daughter.” His breath caught at the words, turning slightly to face Seonghwa. “ _ Our daughter. _ ” They were really close, Hongjoong very aware of how pink Seonghwa’s lips were. Seonghwa was holding back, he could tell and Hongjoong didn’t want him too. “Please. Kiss me.” Seonghwa leaned down too fast, their teeth clanking and Hongjoong having to duck away.

He giggled, glancing up again to see Seonghwa blushing. Because of him. He leaned up, on his tippy toes, to plant a soft kiss against his cheek. “I-

“I love you.” Seonghwa said for him and for once, he wasn’t all that scared of being stuck here.

\---

Yunho and Mingi helped set up a picnic table out back. Seonghwa was busy grilling, the sound of the meat sizzling making Hongjoong’s mouth water. The girls were as rambunctious as always, if not more as they ran around outside. Jongho, as most teenagers his age, was glued to his phone. “He’s texting a boy.” Yunho stage whispered to Hongjoong, Jongho going red at his father’s words.

“Daaad!” He held his hands up in surrender, Hongjoong laughing at their exchange. Mingi said San was almost here, Wooyoung and Yeosang having just pulled up.

“Seonghwa!” Wooyoung shouted, running over to encase the older man in a hug. Yeosang nodded to everyone, quietly putting down the gift and making small talk with Mingi. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.” He commented, stealing a piece of meat right off the grill. Seonghwa swatted him away.

“Maybe I’d invite you over if you didn’t always try to steal our food.” Wooyoung smirked, taking another piece of meat before running off. He went to sit with Hongjoong, immediately taking some of the chips they’d laid out for the party.

“So where’s the birthday girl.” Hongjoong called for Seyoon, the little girl running toward them grinning. Wooyoung cooed as he pet her hair. “My, you’re quite a cutie.” Seyoon giggled and Hongjoong could see the way Wooyoung fell at her feet for her cuteness. “Aigoo.” Yeosang soon joined them, offering a sweet smile to Seyoon as well as his hand.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She got shy, running over to Hongjoong with a furrowed brow. Hongjoong hauled her up, placing her on his hip as Yeosang pouted.

“She’s not used to meeting new people.” Seonghwa announced that the food was ready and everyone gathered around, plating their own portions and helping the younger ones. Jongho sat with the little girls, watching over them as the adults chatted.

“How’s our big shot lawyer doing?” San asked, giving Senghwa a very proud smirk. Leave it to Seonghwa to be modest, immediately shooting down the idea that he was a big shot. “I heard you won your case against Marter. That’s huge! It was all over the news.” Hongjoong’s eyes widened as he turned to his husband.

“You never told me that?” Seonghwa shrugged it off, giving San a pointed look.

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Hongjoong was still delighted, feeling immensely proud of the man he got to call his own. He raised his glass of fruit punch, the others giving him an odd look.

“A toast! For our ever so wonderful, Seonghwa!” Even if he addressed him as theirs, he felt the underlying tone of calling Seonghwa his. It felt right. They toasted, the little girls wanting in on it too.

The day almost went too fast, the fun Hongjoong was having kept him busy. He was bustling about as the host, refilling drinks and checking up on his daughters. Yeosang got on some tangent about a peculiar character he was training and everyone was laughing as he told them about the young boy’s weird antics. It felt a lot like… the world he knew. Surrounded by the seven people he could only wish to follow him forever. And his girls.

Seyoon was yawning, coming up to tell Hongjoong she was sleepy. Hongjoong brought her up into his lap, signalling for Seonghwa to grab the cake. The sun had just set and before they turned on the outdoor lights, they were all singing happy birthday to Seyoon, the little girl looking far less tired as she stared at the cake.

“Make a wish.” Hongjoong encouraged, pulling her hair away as she went to blow out the candles. He heard a polaroid camera going off and figured it was Yunho trying to capture the moment. Rushed cheers were heard as Seonghwa started to cut the cake. Feeling a little playful, Hongjoong took a small dollop of the icing, smudging it against Seyoon’s cheek.

“Papa!” She cried, only to do the same. Everyone was laughing, including Hongjoong as he started to wipe away at Seyoon’s cheek. Once she had her cake slice, she sat by Mingi, the man making small talk to distract her from Hongjoong disappearing to the kitchen. Hongjoong grabbed a paper napkin, dabbing away what he could feel before he realized he would need a mirror. 

“Let me help you.” Seonghwa gently coaxed the napkin away from him, cleaning whatever was left of the icing. Hongjoong was still a little breathless from all the laughing, feeling even more so at how Seonghwa was caring for him. Soft and tender under the fluorescent light of the kitchen. He glanced up, trying to meet the other’s eyes only to see Seonghwa’s gaze fixed lower. On his lips. “Hongjoong-”

The younger couldn’t take it anymore, pressing their lips together in a fiery kiss that left them both short of breath. God, he’d waited so long for it. Seonghwa was nipping at his bottom lip gently, arms tightening as he pulled the younger closer. “I know I don’t remember how I got here, but I like what we have.” He admitted, the heat rising to his cheeks. Seonghwa was brushing his thumb against Hongjoong’s cheek. It was grounding, after that revelation. This wasn’t where Hongjoong imagined himself to be,  _ ever.  _ He’d always imagined performing, the adrenaline of being on stage. The roar of the crowd, music so loud his ears would hurt. He never thought he could feel like that anywhere else. 

But here, with Seonghwa, he felt that all. The rush, the adrenaline, feelings he never imagined possible, all because he was married to someone he’d truly grown to love. 

Suddenly, it clicked. What the song was supposed to be, what it was supposed to mean. He leaned up to place a short kiss to the older man’s lips. “I’d love to keep going, but I need to do something.” Seonghwa let him go and he was running out back to where Yunho was already lulling Seyoon to sleep. He turned to Mingi.

“I got it!” He started, watching the way Mingi’s expression morphed into confusion. “I have the lyrics for Twilight!” Mingi stood up.

“That’s great.” He hugged Hongjoong. “We can get it all sorted tomorrow-” Hongjoong shook his head.

“Let’s go. Right now.” 

“Now?” Hongjoong was already pushing him to the door.

“Right now! I don’t want to lose this inspiration.” Mingi asked to at least say goodbye, which Hongjoong let happen. Seonghwa came over to Hongjoong.

“Joong?” He was worried, of course he was. He was leaving in the middle of a celebration for his music. Hongjoong looked apologetic, but he knew it had to be done. The sooner they did this, the sooner Seonghwa would get back the man he  _ truly _ loved. He kissed Seonghwa again. (It felt like it would be the last time he did.) 

“I promise that when we finish this song, you’ll get me back.  _ The real me _ .” He emphasized. Seonghwa was still troubled, so he held out his pinky. “Promise?” Seonghwa resigned himself to the promise, pushing his thumb with Hongjoong. “I love you.” He added on. Seonghwa at least smiled.

Hongjoong did most of the work back at the studio, letting Mingi get rest in between takes. He could help him with supporting vocals later. What mattered most was the lyrics, the words he struggled for weeks to solve, to match into what he knew was a beautiful song. 

Come daybreak, Hongjoong had finished the last vocal, sighing in relief as the song faded out. He’d really done it. He’d finished the song.

He fell against the couch, eyelids heavy. He sure couldn’t pull all nighters like he used to. He figured he could catch up on some sleep, Mingi could always record the last set of vocals later in the day. He closed his eyes, getting more comfortable against the side of the couch. Five minutes. He’d give himself five minutes.

\---

A shout startled Hongjoong awake. He blinked his eyes open, hazy as he sat up. He wasn’t in the studio anymore and he vaguely wondered if Mingi somehow got him back home. “Hongjoong?” He turned to the voice, surprised to see Jongho in his room.

“What are you doing here?” Shouldn’t he be like at school or something? And why was he taller? Broader? Wait, was he older? Jongho just looked perplexed, waving his hand in front of Hongjoongs’ staring form.

“Hyung?”  _ Oh _ , right. He’d said something.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Exasperated, the younger just huffed, but repeated his words.

“We have to be at KQ in half an hour. Did you forget?” KQ… but wasn’t he just there?

“No.” But he knew he sounded unsure. Jongho stepped closer, inspecting Hongjoong’s face.

“You came back early last night. Why are you acting like you haven’t slept?” Maybe because he can’t seem to grasp the fact that he was back where he’s supposed to be. The lyrics to Twilight were really the key to his return.

“Jongho! What’s taking so long?” He thought he heard someone yell.

“Hyung is being weird!” He shouted back. That prompted another person’s arrival.  _ Seonghwa. _

“What’s the hold up?” He asked Hongjoong and all he could do was blush. Oh God, he was still head over heels in love with him. Seonghwa stepped closer, like Jongho had done, giving the boy a once over. “Are you sick?”

“No!” He was quick to assure, his voice betraying him. He was done with puberty, thank you. Seonghwa raised a brow and Hongjoong pushed forward. “I’ll just get dressed.” Jongho shrugged, figuring it was good enough while Seonghwa lingered.

“You’re sure you're okay?”  _ No _ .

“Yes.” 

Hongjoong felt anything but okay as they stepped into the practice room. The choreographer was showing them the footwork for Pirate King and all Hongjoong could focus on was Seonghwa. The way he talked, the way he moved. He was so effortless and Hongjoong felt stumped, floored to the nines with so many immense feelings he could cry. This was his real reality. He had to remember that.

Soon enough, the choreographer called a break, Hongjoong being the first to face plant to the floor (or at least attempt to). His breathing was labored and he wanted so desperately to slink his way over to Seonghwa, but he felt weird enough about his feelings, who knows what would happen if he was anywhere near him. He might do something stupid. Like kissing him. Instead he turned to Yeosang, who had fallen next to him, and asked if he wanted anything from the vending machines.

He escaped with the excuse of snacks, pointedly looking anywhere but Seonghwa as he headed to the second floor vending machine. He thought he’d made it out, only to be unfairly cornered in the elevator by Seonghwa. He gulped. “You’re acting weird.” Seonghwa stated, assessing his movements. Hongjoong wanted to push him away, but he knew that would be more of a cause for concern, so he willed his limbs to calm down. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Of course!” Stupid voice couldn’t hold steady, Seonghwa even more skeptical. “Hyung. I’m fine, really.” He tried to go for reassuring, gently placing his hand on Seonghwa’s bicep and then immediately regretting it, because wow. He’d been working out. He was almost shamelessly squeezing, but Seonghwa was shaking him off and  _ he should stop. _ “Sorry!” The elevator dinged open and Hongjoong tripped out, running into the nearest bathroom and just  _ breathing. What was wrong with him? _ He was cool. He was calm. He was  _ collected _ . 

After a moment, Seonghwa stepped in, looking at Hongjoong like he was trying to figure him out. Hongjoong laughed awkwardly, brushing past him, but getting stopped by a hand to his chest. He was slowly pushed back, until his back met the wall. “Something’s definitely up.” Seonghwa said, Hongjoong losing the ability to breath. It wasn’t fair he be this close and not kissing him.

“Please. I just wanted snacks.” He knew his voice was small, vulnerable. He felt pressured to admit feelings he wasn’t yet ready to acknowledge, at least not in this reality. Things were different here. He wasn’t meant to be in love with Seonghwa.

Seonghwa noticed his tone, immediately moving away. “Joong, I’m sorry.” He hesitated for a moment, before making to leave. “When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.” Hongjoong had it in him to nod, and Seonghwa left with one last glance. When the quiet of the bathroom took over, he let himself cry. Just for a minute. Maybe five. Five minutes was all he needed.

It was hard, harder than Hongjong had expected it to be. Seeing Seonghwa around.

He was the same, dorky boy he’d grown to know, and yet he saw some of the other Seonghwa in his steps, in his words. He so badly wanted to confess. To just get it over with, but this life was different. He wasn’t ready to face the consequences. Not when it would affect more than himself. 

“You’ve been really out of it.” Yunho came to him one night, concerned beyond belief. “I know everyone is curious. Especially Seonghwa.” It wasn’t fair that Seonghwa still cared so much. 

“It’s dumb.” Maybe Yunho could know. One person needed to know. “I’m dumb.” Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because I’m dumb and in love and I hate it.” Yunho actually laughed.  _ Laughed _ . Hongjoong frowned.

“This is a very serious matter.”

“Of course, hyung.” He was trying really hard to stifle his laughter. “But, why does that make you dumb?”

“Because I shouldn’t be?” What was Yunho not understanding? They were all in a kpop group, dating was like totally off the table. Yunho seemed surprised by his answer.

“Who says you’re not allowed to be in love?”

“The world?” Yunho sat down next to him, taking his hand and holding it to his chest with a very serious look in his eyes.

“Joong, the world does not have the power to sway what you do. If you’re in love, then you’re in love. Simple.” 

“Not simple.” Hongjoong took his hand back to flop on the bed. “Yunho, this is bigger than you realize.”

“How so?” He couldn’t evade the topic much longer. Hongjoong was just going to have to come out and say it. 

“Because… I’m in love with Seonghwa.” He’d covered his eyes with his arm and was waiting for the inevitable gasp of shock to ring out. Except the gasp didn’t come from Yunho.

“You’re what?” Hongjoong sat up so fast he got whiplash, scattered brain trying to think of an excuse. A lame excuse most likely. Yunho looked between them before deciding he didn’t want to be  _ in between _ them for this talk.

“I’m going to…” He slipped out, closing the door behind him with a finality that made Hongjoong realize this was real. This was really happening. 

“Did I hear that correctly? Are you really in love with me?” Seonghwa didn’t sound mad, if anything he sounded expectant. Hongjoong gulped.

“I-”

“No, of course not.” He started to laugh, almost hysterically. “You couldn’t like me, much less love me.” Hongjoong watched as Seonghwa held a conversation with himself, face morphing as he tried to understand what exactly he’d heard. “You've been avoiding me for days! I had to have heard wrong.” Hongjoong felt bad, moving closer to Seonghwa.

“Hwa, I’m sorry.” Seonghwa was facing him now. “I didn’t mean to avoid you. I just wasn’t sure what was going on with me.” He admitted, feeling oh so incredibly shy because he was actually going to say it. He was going to tell Seonghwa he was in love with him. But first- “I’m going to tell you something, and I want you to listen to me carefully. It's probably going to sound really weird, but if it hadn’t happened… I wouldn’t have realized my feelings.” Seonghwa was obviously doubtful, Hongjoong’s eyes pleading with him to at least let him explain. If all went to hell, at least he would have said his piece.

“Okay.” Hongjoong sighed.

“Okay?”

“Yes, please just talk before I change my mind.” So Hongjoong did. He told Seonghwa about waking up in a foreign home, with him by his side. They were married, they had kids. It was the domestic life he never knew he wanted and, yet, after seeing it, he so desperately wished for it. He told him of the ups, the downs, the in between. He told him how through it all, he’d realized that Seonghwa was really important to him.

“Being married to you… felt right.” He knew he was blushing. “I know that this seems like spontaneity, but I know what I went through. Even if it was just a really vivid dream… I know what I felt.” They’d sat down for his story, Hongjoong finally meeting the other’s eyes. He was… crying? “Oh my God, I’m sorry!” He was rushing to grab tissues, wiping at Seonghwa’s face in earnest. “I shouldn’t have told you that. I made things weird didn’t I? I’m sorry.” Seonghwa was pulling at his wrist, stopping his movements.

“I’m okay, just- I never thought you’d tell me something like this. You can’t imagine the amount of times I- dreamed of something like that for us.” Seonghwa sounded broken and Hongjoong reached out to hug him. “Hongjoong… I’ve alway loved you. When we were first starting out, when they told us you would be our leader. I remember thinking you looked so lost yourself, yet you were so willing. To be what we needed and I respected that. I loved the effort, your selflessness. When we were set to debut, I ignored my heart because we already had it so hard. My feelings didn’t need to get in the way of that.” Hongjoong had since let go, sitting beside him again with one of Seonghwa’s hands in his. 

“I always thought, maybe these feelings would go away. Maybe I was being reckless, falling so fast for someone I was barely getting to know. But then we were roommates and things only kept progressing and I found myself so lost in you…” Hongjoong knew the feeling well. “That day, in the bathroom, I pushed you too far because I was worried maybe you’d found out. I didn’t want it to cause a riff. And still it did-”

“Only becauseI was still scared.” Hongjoong intervened. “I thought that whatever that dream was, it was just meant to be that,  _ a dream _ . Never did I think it would actually lead to me being truly in love with you.” He knew the way he explained it made it seem like this all happened overnight, but the truth was, this was a long time coming. For the days it felt like he was gone, he was made aware of all the things he never knew he’d felt for so long. He felt his own eyes tearing up. 

“I love you, Seonghwa.” Seonghwa sobbed, suddenly tumbling them back on the bed.

“I love you, too. So much.” They stayed there, in each other’s arms, weeping over their feelings until Hongjoong couldn’t feel his arms anymore.

“Seonghwa, I need to move.” Seonghwa was very whiny, tugging him back down as he tried to move away.

“No, stay here.” He sounded like he was about to fall asleep. Hongjoong smiled softly.

“I’ll be back. I’m not going anywhere.” And he hoped that he wouldn’t. That he’d get to stay there and be in love with Seonghwa and one day have the life he dreamed.

  
  
  
  


( Seonghwa decided to stop by the studio after dropping off Mira. He walked up to the third floor, Hongjoong’s lunch in hand, and smiled when he saw Hongjoong asleep on the couch. Mingi had left at some point- probably not too far- and Seonghwa bent down to press a kiss to Hongjoong’s forehead. The younger man stirred.

“Hwa?” Seonghwa’s chest tightened. “What are you doing here?” His sleepily slurred. He sat up, placing a quick kiss to his lips.

“Joong?”

“Yeah.”

“Is it really you?” He almost burst into tears. Hongjoong, having just woken up, just blinked in confusion.

“Yes? Why are you asking me-”

“When did we get married?” 

“November seventeenth.” Seonghwa threw himself at Hongjoong, the latter not catching up.

“Geez, if you missed me that much you could have just said so.” )

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> you made it! I hope you found this to be as cute as I did. I have been wanting some more seongjoong as parents content because I swear there isn't enough on here. feel free to leave a comment or kudos ( each one is directly connected to one more view for Inception - jkjk I'm dumb, but like HAVE Y'ALL SEEN INCEPTION oof )
> 
> I'm off to work on a Yunho and San story, bye bye


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